Common Estate Planning Choices That Frequently Turn Out To Be Mistakes (Adult Children Edition)

Dan Mckenzie • September 20, 2023

You might think estate planning will be easy if you have adult kids. You write a will splitting everything equally between those kids and naming them to serve together as your estate's executor. But just that one sentence contains several decisions that might benefit from careful reconsideration. Here are some common estate planning choices that people with adult kids make that often become the source of significant disagreement and difficulties when the time comes to administer the estate.


  1. Nominating one of the estate’s beneficiaries as its executor. You might think that because your kids know your assets and debts better than anyone else, they are best positioned to handle the wrapping up of your affairs. That might be true, but the frequent decision to make one of the estate's beneficiaries its executor creates an inherent conflict of interest that can be difficult for that person to navigate.

    What if your kids all want the same item of personal property? What if they disagree on the value of various assets? The executor is supposed to act in the beneficiaries' best interest, but determining what that is when they stand to directly benefit from an outcome that contradicts their siblings' desires can be challenging. Instead of putting your kids in this situation, a better choice might be to name a neutral third party as the executor, such as a professional fiduciary or a friend or family member not entitled to receive anything from the estate.

  2. Naming more than one person to serve as co-executors. You might think that naming two or more of your kids as co-executors will prevent them from fighting and force them to work together. You might also be worried about hurting one kid's feelings if you give this critical job to a sibling. But naming multiple people to serve in this job could backfire, too.

    Co-executors must agree on every decision and sign every document related to the estate. That frequently causes delays, confusion, and frustration. It can also lead to deadlocks if they can't agree on something. We have seen many situations where a unanimity requirement effectively meant that the executor who didn't want to take action got their way by default.

    A better choice might be to name one person as the executor and another as the backup executor in case the first one can't or won't serve.

  3. Not considering how to divide items that can't be easily split. You might have unique or sentimental items like jewelry, art, antiques, or real estate that are impossible to divide. You might also have some substantial assets, such as a vacation home or a business, that comprise most of your estate. What if more than one of your kids wants the same item? How will they decide who gets what? If you don't give them a plan, or at least something to negotiate around, you could leave your kids with a difficult mess to sort out.

    They might have to sell some items and split the proceeds, which could reduce their value and cause emotional distress. They might also have to go to court to resolve their disputes, which could cost time and money.

    A better choice might be to talk to your kids about what they want and what they are willing to give up. You could also instruct your executor to use a system of bidding, drawing lots, or rotating choices to divide the items fairly.

What next?

If you think it might be time to think through your estate plan, you can:


  1. Give us a call at 720-821-7604 to schedule a "Discovery Session" at which we can determine whether our firm would be a good fit for your needs. Or fill out our contact form to have us call you.

  2. Visit our estate planning page to learn more about how proactively thinking through your estate plan can protect you and your family, minimize hassle, lower the chance of family discord, and minimize or eliminate taxes.

  3. Learn more by reading our blog or watching our videos.
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The probate process includes validating the will, inventorying the deceased’s assets, paying off debts and taxes, and distributing the remaining assets to the rightful heirs. While probate is often associated with lengthy court proceedings, not all estates require formal probate. Colorado offers several options depending on the size and complexity of the estate, which can help simplify the process in many cases. When is Probate Necessary in Colorado? Probate is not always required in Colorado. Whether an estate must go through probate depends on the types and value of the deceased’s assets. Generally, probate is necessary if: The deceased owned real estate solely in their name. The deceased’s assets, such as bank accounts or investments, were not held in joint tenancy or designated to transfer on death. The deceased had personal property valued at over $74,000 (as of 2023). If an estate falls below this threshold and does not include real estate, the beneficiaries can often use a Small Estate Affidavit to claim the assets without going through probate. Types of Probate in Colorado Colorado has three main types of probate procedures: small estate procedures, informal probate, and formal probate. The type of probate required depends on the estate’s value and whether there are disputes among heirs or creditors. Small Estate Procedure (Collection by Affidavit) The small estate procedure can be used if the value of the deceased’s assets is less than $74,000 and does not include real estate. This process involves filling out a Small Estate Affidavit, which allows the heirs to collect and distribute the assets without opening a probate case in court. It is the simplest and fastest way to handle a small estate. Informal Probate Informal probate is used when there is a valid will and no disputes among heirs or creditors. 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Steps in the Colorado Probate Process While the specific steps in probate can vary depending on the type of probate and the complexity of the estate, the general process in Colorado typically includes the following: Filing the Probate Petition The process begins with filing a Petition for Probate with the appropriate Colorado probate court. The petition is usually filed by the executor named in the will or an interested party if no will exists. Appointment of the Personal Representative The court will appoint a Personal Representative (executor) to manage the estate. If there is a valid will, the person named as executor is typically appointed. If no will exists, the court will appoint someone, usually a family member, to serve as the Personal Representative. Notice to Heirs and Creditors The Personal Representative must notify all potential heirs and creditors of the probate proceeding. 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Closing the Estate After all assets have been distributed and all required filings have been made with the court, the Personal Representative can file a Petition for Final Settlement to close the estate. Once approved, the Personal Representative’s responsibilities are complete. Challenges and Disputes in Colorado Probate Unfortunately, probate can sometimes become contentious, especially in cases involving high-value estates or when family members disagree on how assets should be distributed. Some common challenges in Colorado probate include: Will Contests Heirs or beneficiaries may challenge the validity of a will, claiming it was signed under duress, there was undue influence, or the deceased lacked the capacity to create the will. Will contests can significantly delay the probate process and require formal probate to resolve. Executor Misconduct If an executor is not fulfilling their duties or is mishandling estate assets, beneficiaries can file a complaint with the court and request the executor’s removal. Disputes Among Beneficiaries Disputes can arise over specific bequests, how assets are divided, or even the valuation of estate property. Mediation or formal court intervention may be necessary to resolve these disputes. How a Colorado Probate Attorney Can Help Navigating the probate process can be overwhelming, particularly when dealing with the emotional aftermath of losing a loved one. An experienced probate attorney can help in several ways: Guiding You Through the Process An attorney can explain the probate process, help you understand your rights and responsibilities, and ensure all legal requirements are met. Managing Court Filings and Deadlines Probate involves numerous legal documents and deadlines. An attorney can handle these tasks, ensuring that everything is filed correctly and on time. 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